More on Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse is a harsh reality that isn't spoken about as much as it should be. In fact, verbal abuse is the most under-reported form of abuse though it is also incredibly damaging. As a former victim of verbal abuse, I can say it has long-lasting effects. Being put down every day by someone you care for can begin wearing you down, and usually, the victim will begin believing what the abuser says.

This video is a good quick rundown of what verbal abuse is as well as warning signs you may see in the early stages of the relationship. These include: withholding, brushing comments off as 'jokes,' blocking and diverting, threatening, and name-calling. I had to deal with all of these behaviors over my four-year relationship, but I never thought I was being abused-- I didn't know someone could be verbally abusive. I always brushed it off as 'he's having a bad day' or blamed his behavior on myself. Abuse victims shouldn't feel at blame for what their abuser does, and knowing what abuse looks like-- whether it is physical, emotional, digital, verbal, or sexual-- can help victims identify abuse. It can help them realize what their abuser is doing isn't their fault, and hopefully, they will seek a way out of the relationship.

When approaching verbal abuse, this video ends by saying to take a direct approach with verbal abusers and say straight out for them to stop abusing, though this could possibly end badly in extreme cases. The best course of action is to break things off with an abuser, if possible, or else seek help.

If you know any organization (scouts, church, etc.) that would like to have a speaker on Teen Dating Abuse, please contact me through my website here with your email address. To keep up with updates on this blog please feel free to hit the subscribe button in the top right corner to be alerted to new posts every Thursday. Have something you would like to know more about in the future? Leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer right away! Remember, the first step in solving the problem of teen dating abuse is awareness!

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Resources if You Are in an Abusive Relationship

When someone is in an abusive relationship, it is easy to feel alone and like there is no help or hope. Sometimes people simply do not know where to look. While calling 9-1-1 seems to be the most likely solution (and something I highly support), The Hotline did a survey of abused women which stated that 4/5 women were afraid of calling the police . Some areas-- such as that of the Pickens County Georgia Sheriff's Office and the State of Tennessee-- are trying to lessen that fear by releasing videos such as the two shared here. However, there are other places to reach out to or to use for help if you are one of those 4/5 that does not want to involve the police. The Hotline is one of the best resources for victims of domestic/intimate abuse, along with its sister site Love is Respect which is aimed more towards teenagers and young adults, as well as parents and friends of those that may be involved in an abusive relationship. Both of these websites have online chat availab

What is the Cycle of Abuse?

Chapter Four of The Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in Intimate Relationships by Donald G. Dutton starts with the author looking back on past interviews, writing, "As I look now at the interview notes I took from female partners of our clients, the phrases jump off the page at me: "He's like two different people," "He's like Jekyll and Hyde," "He's completely different sometimes..."" These continue on finishing with the phrase, "He's like living on an emotional roller coaster." 'The Cycle of Violence,' or 'The Cycle of Abuse,' was something I learned about after leaving my abusive ex. And it is something I want to share more because I remember thinking "This explains so much." The chart to the right is one of the more detailed versions of this cycle which can be seen in three stages-- occasionally more, but these three encompass the big points. These stages explain what the auth

It's Time to Talk about Psychological and Verbal Abuse || TedTalk

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States. Almost half of all men and women in the United States have been victim to psychological abuse in an intimate relationship. It doesn't matter who you are, domestic violence-- which is not always physical-- can happen to anyone . Today, I wanted to share Lizzie Glazer's TedTalk. While she mainly speaks about a situation within a marriage, this information is relevant for any intimate, or even familial, abuse. I urge you to take a few minutes to watch this video and learn about the effects of psychological and verbal abuse.

Speak Up. Stand Tall.

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