A Men's Issue || TedTalk

Why is the subject of gender violence so often seen as a women's issue? It's for the same reason that racial issues are often pinned to minority groups. The group of dominance-- in the case of gender violence, men-- usually don't get examined in Jackson Katz gives such an amazing view on this topic.

Katz gives us the work of feminist linguist Julia Penelope, an incredibly eye-opening segment of sentences going from John beat Mary to Mary is a battered woman. We see John removed from the sentence entirely, out of focus, and Mary becomes only a battered woman. That is her identity. The questions should not be about Mary-- the questions should not be put solely on the victim of abuse. Instead of people looking at me and asking 'why did you stay?' why don't they look at my abuser and ask 'why did he abuse her?'

Through his entire talk, Jackson Katz points out how women who try to talk about these subjects-- abuse and violence against women and men as well as children-- get torn down. Insulted. Bashed. He refers to this as 'shooting the messenger.' No one wants the boat rocked, no one wants power questioned.

Jackson Katz also goes on to talk about how men can take a stand with women, how men can stand up and start really making a difference. How men who aren't abusive or insulting can approach men who are instead of shrugging it off. How they can use the power they have within society to make a real difference because Katz does recognize that men do have a power that most women don't possess. He also discusses important things such as the bystander approach and leadership training rather than 'sensitivity training'. I urge everyone to take a moment to watch this video. It isn't at all long, and it's mostly a matter of listening. As Katz said, this information is not only owed to women, but also to young men and children who are growing up around us.

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Resources if You Are in an Abusive Relationship

When someone is in an abusive relationship, it is easy to feel alone and like there is no help or hope. Sometimes people simply do not know where to look. While calling 9-1-1 seems to be the most likely solution (and something I highly support), The Hotline did a survey of abused women which stated that 4/5 women were afraid of calling the police . Some areas-- such as that of the Pickens County Georgia Sheriff's Office and the State of Tennessee-- are trying to lessen that fear by releasing videos such as the two shared here. However, there are other places to reach out to or to use for help if you are one of those 4/5 that does not want to involve the police. The Hotline is one of the best resources for victims of domestic/intimate abuse, along with its sister site Love is Respect which is aimed more towards teenagers and young adults, as well as parents and friends of those that may be involved in an abusive relationship. Both of these websites have online chat availab

What is the Cycle of Abuse?

Chapter Four of The Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in Intimate Relationships by Donald G. Dutton starts with the author looking back on past interviews, writing, "As I look now at the interview notes I took from female partners of our clients, the phrases jump off the page at me: "He's like two different people," "He's like Jekyll and Hyde," "He's completely different sometimes..."" These continue on finishing with the phrase, "He's like living on an emotional roller coaster." 'The Cycle of Violence,' or 'The Cycle of Abuse,' was something I learned about after leaving my abusive ex. And it is something I want to share more because I remember thinking "This explains so much." The chart to the right is one of the more detailed versions of this cycle which can be seen in three stages-- occasionally more, but these three encompass the big points. These stages explain what the auth

It's Time to Talk about Psychological and Verbal Abuse || TedTalk

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States. Almost half of all men and women in the United States have been victim to psychological abuse in an intimate relationship. It doesn't matter who you are, domestic violence-- which is not always physical-- can happen to anyone . Today, I wanted to share Lizzie Glazer's TedTalk. While she mainly speaks about a situation within a marriage, this information is relevant for any intimate, or even familial, abuse. I urge you to take a few minutes to watch this video and learn about the effects of psychological and verbal abuse.

Speak Up. Stand Tall.

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