Unmasking the Abuser || TedTalk

This week, I really wanted to share Dina McMillan's Ted Talk on Unmasking the Abuser. Having talked with men who abuse their partners, she has a lot to say on what to look out for in order to completely prevent an abusive relationship from starting. Using the points of Too Much, Too Soon, and Transformation, McMillan really makes her point known. I can see a lot of what happened to me in what she describes in the video.

If you know any organization (scouts, church, etc.) that would like to have me speak on Teen Dating Abuse, please contact me through my website here with your email address. To keep up with updates on this blog please feel free to hit the subscribe button in the top right corner to be alerted to new posts every Monday. Have something you would like to know more about in the future? Leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer right away! Remember, the first step in solving the problem of teen dating abuse is awareness!

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Abuse is like Shoes

“Abusive behavior erodes a person slowly. Imagine a pair of shoes whose soles are so worn there are holes in each. When they came out of the box fresh and new no one would have imagined their tatted state. Yet over time, it happens; they are walked on day in and day out, feet dragged and scuffed, tread marks over pavement, which wears down the layers until one day later they are not recognizable.” -Elin Waldal, “Tornado Weather: A Memoir of Teen Dating Violence and It’s Effec t on a Woman’s Life” I've had this pair of converse since I was in seventh grade. I remember the day I finally talked my mother into getting them for me-- they were the start of my whole collection of converse. To this day, I collect and wear this awesome brand of shoes, but this, my first pair, has been put to the side. As you can probably see, they're dingy and falling apart. What you can't see is how horribly worn down the insides and bottoms are. I didn't buy these shoes falling a...

Mythbusting Abuse : Is It Easy to Leave?

Usually, when I think of myths, I think of mythology. Greek or Roman or even Norse. When I think of myths, I think of things that were believed thousands of years ago, stories about Zeus turning his lover into a cow or Heracles' acts to please the goddess Hera. In high school, I was rather familiar with myths. I was in a club called Junior Classical League, and while the Latin language was the primary objective, culture and myths were my interests. I won a couple ribbons for mythology-- never first but never fifth either. Usually forth, if I'm honest. I still try to keep my knowledge growing. Last year, I took a semester class on the subject. I even have a book on Greco-Roman mythology that I crack open now and then. What I don't think of when I hear the word myths is myths about abuse. Or at least, I didn't use to. The fact is that, as a survivor of abuse, I encounter a lot of people who discount my experience because 'if it was that bad, you could have left...

My Experience with Counseling

I think that going to a counselor was one of the best things I did after exiting the abusive relationship I was involved in. It wasn't something I had really considered, and I am not sure if it was something I would have gone to without being pushed. After something such as an abusive relationship, it's hard to figure out exactly what to do. I had kept so many things to myself, both out of shame and fear. I would never have thought to go tell all of what I felt to someone I didn't know. Moreover, I wasn't exactly in the headspace to make good decisions. I was in a spiral. I honestly don't remember much of the time directly after ending my relationship, but I do remember the first day I went to see my first counselor. I had a sort of block class-- meaning it was two separate classes that fit together with the same teacher. I had missed the first of them, having hidden in the courtyard of the science building to cry. I did come to the second part though. I didn...

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