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The Best Thing I've Heard at Church



As those of you who know me personally might know, I recently started going regularly to a new church. I don't know what made this one stick, having gone to different churches before. I like the style of the services, how the pastor sticks with a certain lesson throughout. I like how community-oriented the church is, something I felt was missing from my old home church. There were places I could see myself fitting in-- and I have taken the steps to join into my new church, and am so grateful to have a place in the teen leadership.

But last Sunday, the pastor said some things while talking about First Peter Chapter Two, a lesson called 'There is Purpose in our Pain.' If you want to hear the full sermon, please check it out here-- it's really good-- but my main focus is on what my pastor said about abuse. I can say with certainty, I have never heard a church take such a strong and outspoken stand on this topic-- in fact, a stance on abuse is why I left a church in the past. I was nearly crying in my chair while the pastor spoke out, saying while we as Christians are called to suffering, we are never called to endure abuse-- physical or mental.

We will all have to be under someone who has authority over us, the pastor says. In this, he mentions principals and police officers and lenders. He talks about how some wield their authority well, while others will make us suffer. The scripture the pastor referenced was 1st Peter 2:20 "But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God." This, of course, was taken from a time when slavery was in practice, and while that is not justification for what happened, Peter was talking to people who could legally be abused and broken in this time.

The pastor goes on to say this passage is often misused to preach a 'radical passivity.' It is misinterpreted, often abused to continue to enslave people, and to tell abused spouses to 'endure' as well. This passage was written in a time when legal recourse was not available to the beaten slaves when the way to survive was to endure as a form of self-preservation. But then, we begin to talk about the modern and current-- what mistreatments are we now expected to endure?

"Let me make it abundantly clear, okay? To any person in this room... If you live in an environment where violence or the threat of violence is a reality, that is unacceptable in the sight of God and God stands on your side." That is what got my attention. I had never heard a pastor speak so bluntly on the topic of abuse, and I expected that that would be where it ended. But it didn't. "Scripture never advocates for us to endure physical, emotional, mental abuse period."

Our pastor points out that while Peter acknowledged violence against people who could do nothing is not a biblical endorsement of violence-- it was what was happening then and it is illegal now, something we can combat. He told anyone in an abusive situation-- physical, emotional, or mental-- to get out of that relationship. No 'try to endure,' no buts. And the fact that the pastor added in mental and emotional? That caught me off guard. A previous church I went to hardly acknowledged my abuse because it wasn't physical, because when I was asked 'did he rape you?' I said he hadn't. They didn't seem to understand that the emotional scars were perhaps deeper than anything my abuser could have done physically, and now the pastor at my new church is fully and completely acknowledging it. I felt tears in my eyes, he had my full attention.

The pastor lets anyone in the crowd know that if they asked for help there that day, they would receive it. "You don't have to live this life alone." The encouragement and support behind that statement were honestly overwhelming.

The biggest shock came when the topic left abuse victims and instead turned towards abusers. "And let me just say this to anyone who might be an abuser. Listen to me very carefully. God sees what you think no one else can see and one day you will stand under the fire of his judgment and experience a wrath and a physical, and emotional, a spiritual, a mental torment that you have never been able to fathom and that you can never inflict. Oh but pastor I'm a Christian. No, you're not."

Those words stunned me, and overall I had to agree. "If you have the ability to maliciously inflict harm on another human being, you can not also say that you have and are characterized by the fruit of the spirit." Fruit not fruits, you have to have all or nothing. This fruit of the spirit is spoken of in Galatians 5:22-23, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." When you look at what the pastor said, it's true that abusers wouldn't have there. Who is kind when they hit their spouse? Who is gentle when they yell at their girlfriend? Who has self-control when they are abusing another human being?

"So if you can torment a child of God, you can not also be a child of God... and you need to confess, you need to repent, you need to face the consequences of your actions knowing that there is always mercy and grace found at the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ." The wrap up of this unexpected talk about abuse. That abusers can find grace through admittance and through taking responsibility. Accountability to what was done. I find this last part extremely important. There is hope for everyone, and that kind of hope is what I pray for every night.

I am proud to be part of a church that takes abuse-- physically, mentally, and emotionally-- seriously. This is the kind of community I have been seeking and hoping for, and I feel blessed to have the opportunity to dive right in and have my own ministry accepted. And to my pastor at this church, if you've found yourself reading this-- I wanted to tell you how much what you said meant to me, but I felt like I would end up in tears. So please just know that as a survivor of abuse, what you said was empowering and uplifting and unlike anything I've ever heard in a sermon. It was honestly the best thing I've ever heard at church, and my parents agree wholeheartedly.

If you know any organization (scouts, church, etc.) that would like to have me speak on Teen Dating Abuse, please contact me through my website here with your email address. To keep up with updates on this blog please feel free to hit the subscribe button in the top right corner to be alerted to new posts every Monday. Have something you would like to know more about in the future? Leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer right away! Remember, the first step in solving the problem of teen dating abuse is awareness!

 All scripture was taken from BibleGateway.com and is New International Version.

All quotes used from Pastor Will's sermon are taken from the podcast (linked above and here), and if you would like to listen to the part I wrote about the time begins at 17:38 and continues to 21:03, though I reccomend taking the time to listen to the complete recording-- you won't regret it.
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