Speak Up. Stand Tall.

Contributed by the mother of the blogger, Pam Cash . One of the most important things one can do is use their own life experiences to help others. Sherry Hamby Ph.D. in Psychology Today wrote, "Emotional, autobiographical storytelling can be a path to truly owning your story. Further, by ‘giving it away,’ you can use your own journey as a means to help others on theirs.” I knew this girl once. She suffered from an eating disorder as a child, through her teenage years. When she became a young lady, she didn’t want to talk about it to anyone. She thought that people might look down on her, maybe even blame her parents—who were loving people— for not seeing the signs and getting her help. Who could ever understand? She didn’t really understand herself. Until she was able to openly tell her story to her close friends she was unable to resolve the afflictions in her life. She would have forever been that person with a bad reflection of herself. Years moved on and her greatest re...

Usually, when I think of myths, I think of mythology. Greek or Roman or even Norse. When I think of myths, I think of things that were believed thousands of years ago, stories about Zeus turning his lover into a cow or Heracles' acts to please the goddess Hera. In high school, I was rather familiar with myths. I was in a club called Junior Classical League, and while the Latin language was the primary objective, culture and myths were my interests. I won a couple ribbons for mythology-- never first but never fifth either. Usually forth, if I'm honest. I still try to keep my knowledge growing. Last year, I took a semester class on the subject. I even have a book on Greco-Roman mythology that I crack open now and then. What I don't think of when I hear the word myths is myths about abuse. Or at least, I didn't use to. The fact is that, as a survivor of abuse, I encounter a lot of people who discount my experience because 'if it was that bad, you could have left...

You may remember the title Tornado Warning from my post 'Abuse is like Shoes.' I found this book in a desperate search to find memoirs of people who went through what I did, people who are survivors of teen dating abuse. I thought that maybe reading other people's stories would help me as I talk to teenagers so I would have a more rounded view on the subject with an added perspective. What I didn't realize was that reading this would touch me so much, make me self-reflect on each and every page. Occasionally I had to stop when I found myself in tears. While Elin Stebbins Waldal's situation was much different than mine-- her abuse being centered more towards physical, and having made the mistake of moving in with her abuser-- there are the same basic truths that will ring out to any survivor of abuse. My bought used book is now dogeared and dripping in pink ink-- my color of choice. I have never before marked up a book that wasn't for school, but only two pages...

"You can grow flowers from where dirt used to be."  This is a lyric from the song that I have been playing on repeat for the past week and a half. While I know Kate Nash's song Merry Happy wasn't written directed towards those who have been through abuse, I feel that this lyric fits like a glove. It's something all men and women who have been abused-- by anyone, not just a significant other-- should hear. It's something that gives me hope as I plant my own flowers, my own strength, on the dirt that was an abusive relationship.  I think it's important for all who have been through abuse, those who are recovering, to realize that this 'growing flowers' takes time. After being hurt and broken down, especially by someone you love and/or care about, it is hard. In fact, it can be utterly devastating. It is a journey to get back to what you once were. For myself, it was a struggle over a year, trying to build myself back up to someone I could recogniz...

“Abusive behavior erodes a person slowly. Imagine a pair of shoes whose soles are so worn there are holes in each. When they came out of the box fresh and new no one would have imagined their tatted state. Yet over time, it happens; they are walked on day in and day out, feet dragged and scuffed, tread marks over pavement, which wears down the layers until one day later they are not recognizable.” -Elin Waldal, “Tornado Weather: A Memoir of Teen Dating Violence and It’s Effec t on a Woman’s Life” I've had this pair of converse since I was in seventh grade. I remember the day I finally talked my mother into getting them for me-- they were the start of my whole collection of converse. To this day, I collect and wear this awesome brand of shoes, but this, my first pair, has been put to the side. As you can probably see, they're dingy and falling apart. What you can't see is how horribly worn down the insides and bottoms are.  I didn't buy these shoes falling a...