My Relationship with Feminism

Recently, I have come to accept the word 'feminist' as a descriptor for myself. In the modern day, there are many kinds of feminism. My view was always pointed to the more radical of these groups, creating a dislike for the term feminist in its entirety, but recently I've found my point of view shifted. Feminism isn't all the Tumblr version of radical activity that my generation is exposed to. It is multifaceted. Just like all English majors aren't hoity-toity classical literature lovers who will scoff if you haven't read obscure translations of Russian books, all feminists are not seeking to tear down the society we live in and replaced by a matriarchal one where men have no necessary role-- in fact, that sort of feminist in the vast minority and, like snotty lit majors, usually aren't very boosted by the rest of the community outside of their circle. Most English majors are friendly and ready to learn and to talk about books we haven't even read because some of us may skim a bit too much, and most feminists are the same: friendly and ready to learn from each other.

To get to the point: feminism isn't scoffing at housewives or stay-at-home mothers, and it isn't women looking for a spot of superiority over men. It is a genuine want, or rather need, of strict equality along with the ability to make choices and have a voice that will be heard. It is the overarching goal to let women decide if they want to have a life at home or if they want to have a career out in the world. It is the decision to support the choice of the woman, so long as it is her choice, but still encouraging her to gain skills, just in case, because history has shown that in the past women who lived a life firmly in place within the house have suffered from abuse with no hope to escape. Because they didn't have the skills to support themselves without the income of their abuser. Because they were controlled by a man who wanted to keep them on a lower tier, who wanted to leave them with no other choice but to become codependent.

Feminism is a peaceful protest made on a daily basis by those who call themselves feminists, traveling through the world and their own environments and trying to show exactly why feminism is important. It is the demand that women be treated the same as men. Same wages, same voice, same respect. Because women deserve that much for their work and their time and their struggles.

And for those of you who are asking right now 'what struggle?' I will say this: my female friends should be able to go to a public place without fear of being harrassed, and so should I, but nine out of ten times when I go someplace like Walmart by myself I'm not that lucky.

We, as women, are tired of being shut down because our viewpoint is "too sensitive" or because "it's probably just that time of the month," both things I've heard from men who wanted to ignore what I was saying.We are tired of people saying that our suffering is our fault, saying that a woman who was raped 'asked for it,' saying that a woman who was abused 'had the choice to leave.'

The #MeToo movement is easily described as feminist as women raise their voices against a majority of men who held some sort of power over their heads-- not to put aside the men who contributed the movement, your voices are so important to raise awareness of assault on male victims. Some of these #MeToo posts cover recent activity, and others are decades old, but they all hold the same powerful impact. Victims are showing that they are survivors, unafraid of sharing, wanting to help others stand up from their assault, their rape, the abuse of their being.

In a way, I see my blog in this same light. This is my call to action, for myself and for anyone who sees a woman as not an object but a person. For anyone who realizes that abuse is not the fault of the victim. For anyone who thinks that teenagers should be protected from the mental, physical, and sexual abuse-- that everyone should. My blog is my voice. My outreach is my voice. As a woman, I find my voice is indescribably important. As a survivor, forced to keep quiet and hold her tongue for years, my voice is all that much more important to me. I am a survivor, one who has forgiven, but one who realizes that forgiveness doesn't erase my personal story. As a woman, I have been knocked down enough. As an abuse victim, I have been silenced too much. As a survivor, I will speak, for myself and for those like me who are still finding their voices.

I will speak to educate those who may not know about situations like mine and to comfort those who have experienced similar-- you have someone like you right here. And to those who think voices like mine should be silenced, to those who say women 'asked for it,' to those who claim victims are the ones to blame for their abuse, all I can say is that the time has come for change. I hope you are ready to learn from it.