A blog to keep up with my advocacy and my work within the community! My name is Ashley Cash. I am a Junior in university and an English major. For half of my teen years, I was a victim of dating abuse. I am a survivor of that time, and now I am a stronger woman. I want to help the community around me, and everyone I can reach, by raising awareness about teen dating abuse. I also work with a depression support group and a really cool group called Ladies of War!
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Another Story of Teen Dating Abuse - Illymation
One thing I think is really important to spreading awareness about teen dating abuse-- or any abuse-- is not just sharing one story. Abuse comes in many forms and every case is different. Sometimes, that makes it hard for people, especially teenagers, to understand what is happening to them is abuse. I have mentioned before that a lot of people, myself included at a young age, think that an abuser is someone who inflicts physical damage such as slapping or punching. However, the truth is that abuse comes in a wide variety of hateful behaviors. Physical abuse, emotional/mental abuse, verbal abuse, digital abuse, and sexual abuse. While I have described my experience dealing with all of these, it hardly covers the topic. As I said, every case is different. I've talked to other survivors and we all have different stories, usually with some commonalities, but never exactly the same. There is no sheet to show 'this is exactly what abuse looks like.' Sometimes it's easy to spot the warning signs and sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it's easy to leave and sometimes it's not. Sometimes all the victim receives is verbal abuse that tears them apart, and sometimes every category appears in the description of the relationship.
I saw the animation How I Met My Abusive (ex) Boyfriend on my suggested videos list in October. At the time, I knew I wanted to share it but I also wanted to wait for part two to come out. How I Left My Abusive (ex) Boyfriend was posted as I was getting ready for exams and I am happy to return to blogging by sharing this. There are so few first-hand accounts of teen dating abuse, and this case is far different from mine. And that is why it is especially important to share. Teenagers in this day and age have access to the world at their fingertips, and that opens them up to abuse not only by those around them but those that they don't even know. I encourage you to take time to watch both videos. While they do have explicatives, given the subject matter and what the animator went through, I can hardly say they aren't warranted (and there aren't many). Overall, I see this as a survivor being empowered to tell her story and to touch lives. With over two million views on the second of these videos, I think she has definitely helped a lot of people.
If you know any organization (scouts, church, etc.) that would like to have me speak on Teen Dating Abuse, please contact me through my website here with your email address. To keep up with updates on this blog please feel free to hit the subscribe button in the top right corner to be alerted to new posts every Monday. Have something you would like to know more about in the future? Leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer right away! Remember, the first step in solving the problem of teen dating abuse is awareness!
“Abusive behavior erodes a person slowly. Imagine a pair of shoes whose soles are so worn there are holes in each. When they came out of the box fresh and new no one would have imagined their tatted state. Yet over time, it happens; they are walked on day in and day out, feet dragged and scuffed, tread marks over pavement, which wears down the layers until one day later they are not recognizable.” -Elin Waldal, “Tornado Weather: A Memoir of Teen Dating Violence and It’s Effec t on a Woman’s Life” I've had this pair of converse since I was in seventh grade. I remember the day I finally talked my mother into getting them for me-- they were the start of my whole collection of converse. To this day, I collect and wear this awesome brand of shoes, but this, my first pair, has been put to the side. As you can probably see, they're dingy and falling apart. What you can't see is how horribly worn down the insides and bottoms are. I didn't buy these shoes falling a...
Usually, when I think of myths, I think of mythology. Greek or Roman or even Norse. When I think of myths, I think of things that were believed thousands of years ago, stories about Zeus turning his lover into a cow or Heracles' acts to please the goddess Hera. In high school, I was rather familiar with myths. I was in a club called Junior Classical League, and while the Latin language was the primary objective, culture and myths were my interests. I won a couple ribbons for mythology-- never first but never fifth either. Usually forth, if I'm honest. I still try to keep my knowledge growing. Last year, I took a semester class on the subject. I even have a book on Greco-Roman mythology that I crack open now and then. What I don't think of when I hear the word myths is myths about abuse. Or at least, I didn't use to. The fact is that, as a survivor of abuse, I encounter a lot of people who discount my experience because 'if it was that bad, you could have left...
I think that going to a counselor was one of the best things I did after exiting the abusive relationship I was involved in. It wasn't something I had really considered, and I am not sure if it was something I would have gone to without being pushed. After something such as an abusive relationship, it's hard to figure out exactly what to do. I had kept so many things to myself, both out of shame and fear. I would never have thought to go tell all of what I felt to someone I didn't know. Moreover, I wasn't exactly in the headspace to make good decisions. I was in a spiral. I honestly don't remember much of the time directly after ending my relationship, but I do remember the first day I went to see my first counselor. I had a sort of block class-- meaning it was two separate classes that fit together with the same teacher. I had missed the first of them, having hidden in the courtyard of the science building to cry. I did come to the second part though. I didn...
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