A blog to keep up with my advocacy and my work within the community! My name is Ashley Cash. I am a Junior in university and an English major. For half of my teen years, I was a victim of dating abuse. I am a survivor of that time, and now I am a stronger woman. I want to help the community around me, and everyone I can reach, by raising awareness about teen dating abuse. I also work with a depression support group and a really cool group called Ladies of War!
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Another Story of Teen Dating Abuse - Illymation
One thing I think is really important to spreading awareness about teen dating abuse-- or any abuse-- is not just sharing one story. Abuse comes in many forms and every case is different. Sometimes, that makes it hard for people, especially teenagers, to understand what is happening to them is abuse. I have mentioned before that a lot of people, myself included at a young age, think that an abuser is someone who inflicts physical damage such as slapping or punching. However, the truth is that abuse comes in a wide variety of hateful behaviors. Physical abuse, emotional/mental abuse, verbal abuse, digital abuse, and sexual abuse. While I have described my experience dealing with all of these, it hardly covers the topic. As I said, every case is different. I've talked to other survivors and we all have different stories, usually with some commonalities, but never exactly the same. There is no sheet to show 'this is exactly what abuse looks like.' Sometimes it's easy to spot the warning signs and sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it's easy to leave and sometimes it's not. Sometimes all the victim receives is verbal abuse that tears them apart, and sometimes every category appears in the description of the relationship.
I saw the animation How I Met My Abusive (ex) Boyfriend on my suggested videos list in October. At the time, I knew I wanted to share it but I also wanted to wait for part two to come out. How I Left My Abusive (ex) Boyfriend was posted as I was getting ready for exams and I am happy to return to blogging by sharing this. There are so few first-hand accounts of teen dating abuse, and this case is far different from mine. And that is why it is especially important to share. Teenagers in this day and age have access to the world at their fingertips, and that opens them up to abuse not only by those around them but those that they don't even know. I encourage you to take time to watch both videos. While they do have explicatives, given the subject matter and what the animator went through, I can hardly say they aren't warranted (and there aren't many). Overall, I see this as a survivor being empowered to tell her story and to touch lives. With over two million views on the second of these videos, I think she has definitely helped a lot of people.
If you know any organization (scouts, church, etc.) that would like to have me speak on Teen Dating Abuse, please contact me through my website here with your email address. To keep up with updates on this blog please feel free to hit the subscribe button in the top right corner to be alerted to new posts every Monday. Have something you would like to know more about in the future? Leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer right away! Remember, the first step in solving the problem of teen dating abuse is awareness!
When someone is in an abusive relationship, it is easy to feel alone and like there is no help or hope. Sometimes people simply do not know where to look. While calling 9-1-1 seems to be the most likely solution (and something I highly support), The Hotline did a survey of abused women which stated that 4/5 women were afraid of calling the police . Some areas-- such as that of the Pickens County Georgia Sheriff's Office and the State of Tennessee-- are trying to lessen that fear by releasing videos such as the two shared here. However, there are other places to reach out to or to use for help if you are one of those 4/5 that does not want to involve the police. The Hotline is one of the best resources for victims of domestic/intimate abuse, along with its sister site Love is Respect which is aimed more towards teenagers and young adults, as well as parents and friends of those that may be involved in an abusive relationship. Both of these websites have onli...
Chapter Four of The Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in Intimate Relationships by Donald G. Dutton starts with the author looking back on past interviews, writing, "As I look now at the interview notes I took from female partners of our clients, the phrases jump off the page at me: "He's like two different people," "He's like Jekyll and Hyde," "He's completely different sometimes..."" These continue on finishing with the phrase, "He's like living on an emotional roller coaster." 'The Cycle of Violence,' or 'The Cycle of Abuse,' was something I learned about after leaving my abusive ex. And it is something I want to share more because I remember thinking "This explains so much." The chart to the right is one of the more detailed versions of this cycle which can be seen in three stages-- occasionally more, but these three encompass the big points. These stages explain what the auth...
With everything that has been happening within the world in this past year, I think this subject has come into the light of importance-- where it should be. Speaking out against abuse isn't easy . Some might wonder why a survivor of abuse wouldn't wish to name their abuser and see justice done, and there are quite a few reasons, some of which I have spoken about before. If the abuser is still in the picture, it can be dangerous. The survivor might fear retribution-- something I feared when I first began speaking about my experience within an abusive relationship given I was still in the same area of my abuser and saw him regularly. Even if the abuser isn't still in the survivor's life, they may not wish to approach the subject because it's a painful topic or because they're embarrassed by what they went through-- even though there is nothing for a survivor to feel embarrassed or ashamed of. This isn't me trying to make survivors feel bad about not speaking...
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