Skip to main content

More on Verbal Abuse


Verbal abuse is a harsh reality that isn't spoken about as much as it should be. In fact, verbal abuse is the most under-reported form of abuse though it is also incredibly damaging. As a former victim of verbal abuse, I can say it has long-lasting effects. Being put down every day by someone you care for can begin wearing you down, and usually, the victim will begin believing what the abuser says.

This video is a good quick rundown of what verbal abuse is as well as warning signs you may see in the early stages of the relationship. These include: withholding, brushing comments off as 'jokes,' blocking and diverting, threatening, and name-calling. I had to deal with all of these behaviors over my four-year relationship, but I never thought I was being abused-- I didn't know someone could be verbally abusive. I always brushed it off as 'he's having a bad day' or blamed his behavior on myself. Abuse victims shouldn't feel at blame for what their abuser does, and knowing what abuse looks like-- whether it is physical, emotional, digital, verbal, or sexual-- can help victims identify abuse. It can help them realize what their abuser is doing isn't their fault, and hopefully, they will seek a way out of the relationship. 

When approaching verbal abuse, this video ends by saying to take a direct approach with verbal abusers and say straight out for them to stop abusing, though this could possibly end badly in extreme cases. The best course of action is to break things off with an abuser, if possible, or else seek help.

If you know any organization (scouts, church, etc.) that would like to have a speaker on Teen Dating Abuse, please contact me through my website here with your email address. To keep up with updates on this blog please feel free to hit the subscribe button in the top right corner to be alerted to new posts every Thursday. Have something you would like to know more about in the future? Leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer right away! Remember, the first step in solving the problem of teen dating abuse is awareness!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What is Traumatic Bonding?

Many people outside of an abusive relationship often don't understand why a victim doesn't just leave. I have covered the topic of exactly why it isn't always as simple as breaking up-- or moving out in the case the victim is already living with their abuser-- in a former blog post ( click here! ) but today I really want to discuss in depth one of the lesser thought of factors. I mentioned in last week's post, What is the Cycle of Abuse,  that the abuse cycle can bring on something known as 'traumatic bonding.' This is something most abuse victims, myself included, fall to unknowingly.   In his book The Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in Intimate Relationships , Donald Dutton writes, "This process [traumatic bonding] is an attachment to the abuser formed by the prior power differential in the relationship coupled with intermittent abuse. The result is a powerful attachment bond that begins to operate on the abuse victim with time away from the a...

It's Time to Talk about Psychological and Verbal Abuse || TedTalk

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States. Almost half of all men and women in the United States have been victim to psychological abuse in an intimate relationship. It doesn't matter who you are, domestic violence-- which is not always physical-- can happen to anyone . Today, I wanted to share Lizzie Glazer's TedTalk. While she mainly speaks about a situation within a marriage, this information is relevant for any intimate, or even familial, abuse. I urge you to take a few minutes to watch this video and learn about the effects of psychological and verbal abuse.

The Best Thing I've Heard at Church

As those of you who know me personally might know, I recently started going regularly to a new church. I don't know what made this one stick, having gone to different churches before. I like the style of the services, how the pastor sticks with a certain lesson throughout. I like how community-oriented the church is, something I felt was missing from my old home church. There were places I could see myself fitting in-- and I have taken the steps to join into my new church, and am so grateful to have a place in the teen leadership. But last Sunday, the pastor said some things while talking about First Peter Chapter Two, a lesson called 'There is Purpose in our Pain.' If you want to hear the full sermon, please check it out here -- it's really good-- but my main focus is on what my pastor said about abuse . I can say with certainty, I have never heard a church take such a strong and outspoken stand on this topic-- in fact, a stance on abuse is why I left a church in t...