Speak Up. Stand Tall.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States. Almost half of all men and women in the United States have been victim to psychological abuse in an intimate relationship. It doesn't matter who you are, domestic violence-- which is not always physical-- can happen to anyone . Today, I wanted to share Lizzie Glazer's TedTalk. While she mainly speaks about a situation within a marriage, this information is relevant for any intimate, or even familial, abuse. I urge you to take a few minutes to watch this video and learn about the effects of psychological and verbal abuse.

Spirituality is something that a lot of people hold very close. As a Christian, this is a true statement of myself. My faith was something I never thought would be used against me, especially not by someone I cared about, but it easily was. Faith and words of the Bible can be easily be manipulated to be used against someone. As  'A Place of Hope' puts it, "Spiritual abuse is the intentional misrepresentation of a spiritual truth for unspiritual reasons, such as greed, manipulation, injustice, hatred, or spite." While spiritual abuse is more often seen being used by authorities of a church or cults, it can also be seen in intimate relationships and can be linked in with any form of abuse-- emotional, physical, or sexual. In the abusive relationship I was in, it seemed like faith was often held against me. Using a list of spiritually abusive behaviors given by The Hotline , I will attempt to bring light to what this abuse can look like in an intimate relationship...

In last week's blog post, I decided to share a video by TedTalk featuring Dina McMillan titled 'Unmasking the Abuser.' It was about being able to spot a possible abuser before beginning a relationship or early into it. While I think the video explained itself very well, I found myself wanting to touch on something that spoke very true to me. McMillan touched on a three-point system to help someone identify a possible abusive partner. These were: Too Much, Too Soon, and Transforming. McMillan talks about these as a form of psychological manipulation, which is an incredibly scary form of abuse. Too Much . McMillian notes that this means too many compliments, too many gifts, too much togetherness, too many promises, and too much talk about the future. It's someone new coming into your life and suddenly becoming all of your life. I was in eighth grade when I began dating my abuser, and this is exactly what happened. He was texting me constantly, gave me pictures and pass...

This week, I really wanted to share Dina McMillan's Ted Talk on Unmasking the Abuser . Having talked with men who abuse their partners, she has a lot to say on what to look out for in order to completely prevent an abusive relationship from starting. Using the points of Too Much, Too Soon, and Transformation, McMillan really makes her point known. I can see a lot of what happened to me in what she describes in the video. If you know any organization (scouts, church, etc.) that would like to have me speak on Teen Dating Abuse, please contact me through my website  here  with your email address. To keep up with updates on this blog please feel free to hit the subscribe button in the top right corner to be alerted to new posts every Monday. Have something you would like to know more about in the future? Leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer right away! Remember, the first step in solving the problem of teen dating abuse is awareness!

It seems like a lot of people assume that after an abusive relationship ends, that's it. The bad time is over and the victim turned survivor can easily move forward in the world, unburdened. However, abuse of any kind-- emotional, physical, and/or sexual can leave behind deep scars that take time to heal, whether that time is a few months or several years. Using the book  In Love and In Danger: A Teen's Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships  by Barrie Levy, MSW, I will go over some of the ways that abuse can leave scars on survivors. Physical Scars . This was not something I personally endured, however, several victims of abuse do walk away having suffered scars whether they are healing or permanent. Bruises, broken bones, or even permanent disability are only some of the possibilities of harm caused by abusers. Neglected Appearance. When in an abusive relationship, it is common for the victim to neglect their appearance. This was something I did thr...