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What is Love Bombing? + Updates

Finally getting back to the blog after a long hiatus. Since I've written, I have graduated from my bachelor's program and have a spot waiting for me in the graduate program with a GA position! I was also interviewed about my blog for the university newspaper, The All State, which was incredibly exciting. In addition, two weeks ago, I was able to talk to the teens at my church about teen dating abuse which went wonderfully. I'm glad that despite my overwhelming writers block, I've still been able to spread awareness!

This week I want to dive back in, though, starting with love bombing. Psychology Today writer,
Suzanne Degges-White, defined love bombing by saying, "love bombing is the practice of overwhelming someone with signs of adoration and attraction — think flattering comments, tokens of affection, or love notes on the mirror, kitchen table, or windshield, and you’re beginning to get the picture." I'm sharing this video in particular because I think that Stephanie Lyn's vlog is a helpful contribution, but also because I've talked about love bombing before-- I just called it by a different title. In my earlier post "Too Much, Too Soon," I talked about the beginning stages of love bombing because that is what it is, too much too soon. Love bombing is used by narcissists and abusers in order to manipulate their victim. It starts occurring in the 'honeymoon phase,' the beginning of relationships when things are usually very loving and at times over the top. Love bombing, when used by abusers, is far more extreme and continuous, turning very toxic and manipulative.

Most relationships start with a small amount of 'love bombing' that fades with time as the couple starts facing reality, forming a relationship that isn't fully based on romantic aspects, and learning to compromise. This is put off in a relationship where an abuser uses love bombing, the 'honeymoon phase' stretching. Lyn describes the reasoning behind this as the abuser grooming the victim and making sure that the victim is hooked on the love they are receiving. There is a motive behind it. If the motive isn't met, the abuser will stop love bombing. Instead, the abuser will start devaluing and abusing the victim as a backlash.

Lyn notes two ways this cycle can go. The first is with the victim feeding in and the abuser rewarding their return with more love bombing. However, the other includes the victim pulling away and standing up for themselves. In this second scenario, Lyn says the abuser will often pursue the victim with apologies and start the love bombing again. In either instance, the victim is often stuck in the relationship that continues through a cycle of building up and tearing down.

I believe that recognizing this cycle is one of the first steps in overcoming it, and knowing about things such as love bombing is a powerful tool for both men and women alike. I hope you take a few minutes to watch this video and share it. You never know who you might help.

If you know any organization (scouts, church, etc.) that would like to have a speaker on Teen Dating Abuse, please contact me through my website here with your email address. To keep up with updates on this blog please feel free to hit the subscribe button in the top right corner to be alerted to new posts every Thursday. Have something you would like to know more about in the future? Leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer right away! Remember, the first step in solving the problem of teen dating abuse is awareness!
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