Skip to main content

Abuse Against Men

I remember my first talk with a group of teenagers that wasn't just girls. There weren't many boys, maybe three or four, but when I gave statistics about women in abusive situations, I got questions I hadn't really expected: what about men? At the time, I wasn't very sure. Most places didn't give the number of men abused, or else said that it wasn't very clear as men don't report as often. Still, I felt bad that I wasn't able to give anything clear and decided from there on to try to give a better overall look at abuse, further including that facts about abuse against men.

Did you know where 1 in 3 women are abused physically, the statistic is nearly the same with 1 in 4 men? The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) website provides statistics such as this on both men and women. When I looked for more sources on domestic violence / abuse against men, a few different websites that it wasn't always easy to identify-- but all of the signs are the same as abuse that's against women. Things such as namecalling, threats, physical violence... There's nothing different about abuse against men, so why is it 'hard' to identify? Well-- if you take a look at the video I've shared, you might get an idea. The show, The Doctors, set up hidden cameras to catch the reaction to two scenes: a scene of a man abusing a woman and the scene of a woman abusing a man. The reactions are shockingly different-- and maybe that is why people seem to think abuse against men is hard to catch or else say it is non-existent.

The Hotline shared four points that contribute to why men do not seek help and do not report their abuse. These are: men are socialized in order to show their feelings or perceive themselves as victims, stereotypes say that women-- not men-- are victims, abuse of men is often seen as a joke (as in the video), and many men believe that there are not many resources for male victims of abuse. If you'd like to read more on this article, you can find it here! This is a topic I hope to talk more about in the future, but given this isn't exactly in my own personal experience, I really hope to be able to read more into men's experiences in abuse and cover myths surrounding domestic abuse against men.

If you know any organization (scouts, church, etc.) that would like to have me speak on Teen Dating Abuse, please contact me through my website here with your email address. To keep up with updates on this blog please feel free to hit the subscribe button in the top right corner to be alerted to new posts every Monday. Have something you would like to know more about in the future? Leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer right away! Remember, the first step in solving the problem of teen dating abuse is awareness!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Resources if You Are in an Abusive Relationship

When someone is in an abusive relationship, it is easy to feel alone and like there is no help or hope. Sometimes people simply do not know where to look. While calling 9-1-1 seems to be the most likely solution (and something I highly support),  The Hotline  did a survey of abused women which stated that  4/5 women were afraid of calling the police . Some areas-- such as that of the Pickens County Georgia Sheriff's Office and the State of Tennessee-- are trying to lessen that fear by releasing videos such as the two shared here. However, there are other places to reach out to or to use for help if you are one of those 4/5 that does not want to involve the police. The Hotline is one of the best resources for victims of domestic/intimate abuse, along with its sister site Love is Respect which is aimed more towards teenagers and young adults, as well as parents and friends of those that may be involved in an abusive relationship. Both of these websites have onli...
Post a Comment
Read more

What is the Cycle of Abuse?

Chapter Four of The Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in Intimate Relationships  by Donald G. Dutton starts with the author looking back on past interviews, writing, "As I look now at the interview notes I took from female partners of our clients, the phrases jump off the page at me: "He's like two different people," "He's like Jekyll and Hyde," "He's completely different sometimes..."" These continue on finishing with the phrase, "He's like living on an emotional roller coaster." 'The Cycle of Violence,' or 'The Cycle of Abuse,' was something I learned about after leaving my abusive ex. And it is something I want to share more because I remember thinking "This explains so much."  The chart to the right is one of the more detailed versions of this cycle which can be seen in three stages-- occasionally more, but these three encompass the big points. These stages explain what the auth...
Post a Comment
Read more

Speaking Out Against Abuse

With everything that has been happening within the world in this past year, I think this subject has come into the light of importance-- where it should be. Speaking out against abuse isn't easy . Some might wonder why a survivor of abuse wouldn't wish to name their abuser and see justice done, and there are quite a few reasons, some of which I have spoken about before. If the abuser is still in the picture, it can be dangerous. The survivor might fear retribution-- something I feared when I first began speaking about my experience within an abusive relationship given I was still in the same area of my abuser and saw him regularly. Even if the abuser isn't still in the survivor's life, they may not wish to approach the subject because it's a painful topic or because they're embarrassed by what they went through-- even though there is nothing for a survivor to feel embarrassed or ashamed of. This isn't me trying to make survivors feel bad about not speaking...
Post a Comment
Read more