Speak Up. Stand Tall.

I believe the more stories one can hear about teen dating violence/abuse, the more aware one can be. Briana Neben explains her own journey through abuse when she was a teenager to the point where she realized she needed to get away from her abuser. Though she was in an abusive household, Neben wasn't able to see her own abusive situation until a friend approached her. Neben speaks mainly about prevention-- how parents and community members can help teens not fall victim to dating abuse by raising awareness and having those awkward conversations. She also talks about the importance of positive affirmation for one's self, and ends with 'end the cycle of teen dating violence.' Please take time to watch this amazing speaker and please take a moment to share what you've heard. You never know who you might help. If you know any organization (scouts, church, etc.) that would like to have me speak on Teen Dating Abuse, please contact me through my website here with y...

I cannot begin to say how many people said I needed to 'just move on' after I broke up with my abuser. I think it's a common mistake of people who have never been in an abusive relationship to think that if you are still dealing with the effects of abuse that you aren't over the relationship at all. Personally, I didn't miss my abuser once he was gone. Whenever someone told me to 'move on' I told them I had, that I had no intention of looking back and that my abuser-- quite plainly-- disgusted me. I didn't want him back in my life, and while I didn't want to think of him, I was having anxiety that manifested into an incredible amount of paranoia and fear. Sometimes these feeling would come out of nowhere, and sometimes they were triggered. For nearly a month, I could hardly eat anything without feeling sick. I was suffering from PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, because of what my abuser put me through. Yet there were still people telling me t...

Whenever I read about the period after an abusive relationship, I always see something about health and how you should make it a larger priority in your life. In the article Healing After Abuse by PsychCentral it says, "You will feel less dependent on abusive people when you can recognize your own needs and take care of them... This is the time to nourish your body with healthy food and exercise." I think that this is an incredibly important thing to point out, especially because of what I personally went through during and after my relationship with my abuser. I do think that the wording is a bit off in this article, though-- I don't think it's the lack of recognition of needs, but the ability to see it's time to take care of yourself rather than focus on what your abuser wants from you. You no longer have to account for your abuser's opinion, you no longer have to worry about your abuser asking who you're trying to look good for if you start taking car...

According to LoveIsRespect.org , the definition of sexual coercion is "the act of using pressure, alcohol or drugs, or force to have sexual contact with someone against his or her will and includes persistent attempts to have sexual contact with someone who has already refused.” Sexual coercion is something that isn't always talked about and something that is a big problem. We all know the phrases 'no means no' and 'yes means yes,' but do we really talk about yes under duress? As LoveisRespect.org goes on to say, "in a relationship where sexual coercion is occurring, there is a lack of consent." Coercion can be used in other forms as well, in making women stay with their abuser or dropping charges, but I feel that sexual coercion is something that teenagers go through more and are unaware of. At sixteen, seventeen, eighteen-- who knows the term sexual coercion? "It's a mixture manipulation, sweet talk, begging, blackmail, demanding sex ...

This week I found myself looking through videos on youtube out of curiosity. I was really wondering if I shared a platform with any Miss America preliminary winners-- and I found two!  Miss Tuscaloosa's Outstanding Teen 2018, Laura Grace Henry, at the age of fifteen is already speaking up on the behalf of family members and friends to say how parents may miss the issue of teen dating violence/abuse. This one is much more recent than I first thought, and it is wonderful to see someone so young already know the signs and how to avoid any kind of situation that could turn abusive. Moreover, she's in a position to really help the teenagers around her and I think that is incredible.  The second video is older by a few years. Miss Uintah County 2013, Rylee Harris, spoke on teen dating abuse as her platform. She had a personal experience with it, and I really found hers impactful to myself. I was still in a relationship with my abuser in 2013, and I have to won...

As some of you might know, I participated in the Miss Austin Peay/Miss Queen City pageant that happened on Saturday the 22nd. I had a blast meeting so many new faces and seeing some again for a second time. Pageants really are a wonderful thing to bring young women together, but they are also a way to shine lights on topics close to our hearts. The Miss America foundation promotes service and platforms that the contestants bring with them. Our current Miss America, Nia Franklin, has the platform of "Advocating for the Arts" and has since teamed with  Sing for Hope which you can learn more about here . My own platform, as you may have guessed, is Speak Up Stand Tall Against Teen Dating Abuse . During the course of Saturday night, I was able to not only speak to the crowd but some of the contestants about what I did within the community as well as my own experience with teen dating abuse. I was met with great acceptance and praise-- and I even won the inaugural Doug Barber...

Emma Murphy isn't an example of teen dating abuse, but she is a survivor of domestic violence-- and her story tells so much of speaking up against abuse. That's why I want to share it. I've talked before in one of my first blog posts, Grow Flowers Raise Voices , but it's about time to talk about it again. As Murphy says in her video, "We all know of somebody who has been through domestic violence," and that makes talking about it all the more important. People who are going through this need to hear a voice of encouragement, to know things get better, and to know it is time to leave their abuser behind. So once again, I want to call out to any other survivors to raise your voices with me. Our stories can  make a difference-- and I have seen the results. We have the power behind us, to help those are still victims and to make those around us aware so they'll see the signs before falling into an abusive relationship. Remember: the first step to preven...