Speak Up. Stand Tall.

As some of you might know, I participated in the Miss Austin Peay/Miss Queen City pageant that happened on Saturday the 22nd. I had a blast meeting so many new faces and seeing some again for a second time. Pageants really are a wonderful thing to bring young women together, but they are also a way to shine lights on topics close to our hearts. The Miss America foundation promotes service and platforms that the contestants bring with them. Our current Miss America, Nia Franklin, has the platform of "Advocating for the Arts" and has since teamed with  Sing for Hope which you can learn more about here . My own platform, as you may have guessed, is Speak Up Stand Tall Against Teen Dating Abuse . During the course of Saturday night, I was able to not only speak to the crowd but some of the contestants about what I did within the community as well as my own experience with teen dating abuse. I was met with great acceptance and praise-- and I even won the inaugural Doug Barber...

Emma Murphy isn't an example of teen dating abuse, but she is a survivor of domestic violence-- and her story tells so much of speaking up against abuse. That's why I want to share it. I've talked before in one of my first blog posts, Grow Flowers Raise Voices , but it's about time to talk about it again. As Murphy says in her video, "We all know of somebody who has been through domestic violence," and that makes talking about it all the more important. People who are going through this need to hear a voice of encouragement, to know things get better, and to know it is time to leave their abuser behind. So once again, I want to call out to any other survivors to raise your voices with me. Our stories can  make a difference-- and I have seen the results. We have the power behind us, to help those are still victims and to make those around us aware so they'll see the signs before falling into an abusive relationship. Remember: the first step to preven...

I've always been someone who likes the visuals of videos, so while I'm getting prepared for my pageant and getting into the swing of school, I thought I'd finally show this one! It was made by NoMore.org which is a website campaigning against sexual assault and domestic violence-- it has several good resources I look forward to reading and sharing in the future. One of the things in this video that really stuck out to me was the actual title "It's Just Stress." I feel like that is such a common excuse made for abusers-- they're stressed, of course they're acting like this. In the video, the girl says something along the lines of 'his coaches push him, his parents push him, his teachers push him-- so he pushes me.' I remember thinking similar things, though this video does handle more aggressive physical abuse than I was subject to. I remember thinking 'he's being mean to me because he's angry with his parents' or his teache...

I remember my first talk with a group of teenagers that wasn't just girls. There weren't many boys, maybe three or four, but when I gave statistics about women in abusive situations, I got questions I hadn't really expected: what about men? At the time, I wasn't very sure. Most places didn't give the number of men abused, or else said that it wasn't very clear as men don't report as often. Still, I felt bad that I wasn't able to give anything clear and decided from there on to try to give a better overall look at abuse, further including that facts about abuse against men. Did you know where 1 in 3 women are abused physically, the statistic is nearly the same with 1 in 4 men?  The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)  website provides statistics such as this on both men and women. When I looked for more sources on domestic violence / abuse against men, a few different websites that it wasn't always easy to identify-- but all of th...

As those of you who know me personally might know, I recently started going regularly to a new church. I don't know what made this one stick, having gone to different churches before. I like the style of the services, how the pastor sticks with a certain lesson throughout. I like how community-oriented the church is, something I felt was missing from my old home church. There were places I could see myself fitting in-- and I have taken the steps to join into my new church, and am so grateful to have a place in the teen leadership. But last Sunday, the pastor said some things while talking about First Peter Chapter Two, a lesson called 'There is Purpose in our Pain.' If you want to hear the full sermon, please check it out here -- it's really good-- but my main focus is on what my pastor said about abuse . I can say with certainty, I have never heard a church take such a strong and outspoken stand on this topic-- in fact, a stance on abuse is why I left a church in t...

While working on my post for next week, I came across this video on the Youtube Channel Psych2Go. While I talked about Gaslighting on my blog before, I thought coming back to it might be a good idea-- and this video highlights some things I did not go over in my post which you can find here ! As Psych2Go says, "anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders." Gaslighting is a cruel and often undetected form of mental and emotional abuse, and it's not always easily spotted. Please take a few minutes to watch this video, and if you haven't already, go read my post on gaslighting! It's a topic I got to know personally, and something I hope to help prevent in others' lives. On a more personal note-- I'm excited to say I will start working with the teen group at my new church! This is a great opportunity to let teenagers know about abuse and help those who might be going through abuse ...

Breakups are hard no matter which way you look at it. No one ever wants to break someone's heart, or walk away from time invested in a relationship. However, breakups usually aren't a threat to your personal safety and your life. In my post Mythbusting Abuse: Is it Easy to Leave? I talked about the significant risk to a woman's safety after a breakup. Post-breakup, according to JoinOneLove.org, is the most dangerous period for an abused woman. In fact, the likelihood of being killed in the weeks after the breakup is 70%.  "Intimate" Violence Against Women raises those weeks to two years in cases where the victim lived with her abuser. We see proof of this danger in the news, on shows like Dateline, all the time. So today, I want to talk about safely breaking up, and what to do after a breakup to stay safe . Form a Support System When I broke up with my abuser, it was something that wasn't planned. I hadn't talked to anyone to let them know, but as...